Sunday, 29 April 2012

Best Laid Plans

Evening lovelies.

I'm a note taker. Whether its training someone or learning something, something I want to remember like a date, a number, a name, time, a shopping list - I'll write it down. One of the best things I do is make a list of all the things I want to do and never do them. I think my main problem is that only I can see the list so it doesn't matter if I don't do them because its only me that can see that I haven't done them - if your still with me!

So, here's my list of things I want to start doing as of Monday and things I want to do in the next month. If I post them, I will be expected to do them and report on them. I did this with smoking. I told everyone I was going to quit and because everyone knew, I couldn't get away with the excuses.

I need to make some changes (which I will explain after the list).

Yoga - I love the thought and idea of it and even downloaded a starters app on my iPad. I was recommended it as a way to help me with my back by my specialist so should take him up on his word. Starting Monday, I will find time for yoga.

Healthy Eating - To be fair, the common misconception for a fat girl is that we eat ALOT. Well, not all of us do. My size 10 sister will eat her dinner, extras and finish off mine where as I will leave it because I don't feel like eating until I'm sick. YET, I will polish off an entire pot of Pralines and Cream Haagen Dazs just because. Its not how much I eat, it what I eat. Following incredible pressure from the mother in law about healthy eating being rubbish and nothings as good as the Atkins diet (sorry, my opinion but BULLSHIT) I've decided to go my own way and start eating healthier. Portion control, more fruits and veg, less carbs and more variety. Not everything has to be deep fried (husband - not me!).

Walking - We have two dogs that get walked as and when really. If the weathers shit then Clive wont go past the front door and if my backs bad I'm house bound (we live on top of a hill which is murder on my back). As of Monday I want to start being more consistent and getting them out everyday. Whether they like it or not!

Swimming - I used to love swimming but since a near death experience when I was younger Ive chickened out. Last time I went swimming with my husband it took me 20mins to get up the courage to get in. Even then i panicked and ended up sitting in the kids pool for half an hour before deciding to call it a day. I love the water and want to shake off this fear. Also, its great for weight loss and its the best kind of exercise considering my back. My aim is to go once this week, post pictures and a blog about it and enjoy it. Then building this up to 3 times a week.

Weight -  I don't know what my weight is. I know what it was before I got married and quit smoking but god only knows what it is now. This week I will weigh myself. Also, throughout this process I will document my losses. I wont ever tell the world what it is, until I'm happy too. This is the one thing I'm not forcing myself to do. I'm accepting alot of things recently and this Ive accepted is not good but need to keep it for myself.

I just want to re-iterate something before some of y'all blast me for not accepting myself and not being comfortable with who I am. I'm getting there. However, it doesn't matter how accepting I am, how happy I am, my health is suffering. My back is straining and the weight? not helping. The only thing to help with my deteriorating back condition is to take some weight off it. I'm not looking to be a size 10. But a nice 16-20 would be nice. I used to be a curvy 16 and I did not appreciate it. Starving myself and too much exercise. Body wise (excluding my back) I'm healthier now then I was when I was smaller. I remember once sitting in my boyfriends (at the time) dingy attic bedroom thinking "hmmmm, I haven't eaten in 3 days" then walked 2 miles home for a cucumber sandwich. I was sick and not healthy!! I'm getting there with the fat acceptance and will ALWAYS be a big girl, but my specialist and osteopath have recommended weight loss and I need to take their advice. I'm hoping you guys will support me and accept my reasons for this. Its for ME not anyone else. My husband doesn't care how I look just how I feel because he met me at my smallest and married me at my biggest. I'm incredibly lucky to have his support. 

With all this talk about starting a family too, I Just want to make sure that if and when it happens I'm in the best health for me and that my back will cope with it.

Me as a 14-16
Mucho Love.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Hair Today....

One of the things I've always admitted to is getting bored with my hair and messing around with it. One of the things I've always admitted to is being shit at it. I have the best ideas and intentions and it never goes my way and have had to go to work with odd coloured hair on more than one occasion. 

My recent phase is that I want to go back to being natural. Ive been through this phase 3 times in 5 years so lets see how far I get this time! 

Ive made this decision based on 3 basic issues;

1) Ive recently noticed grey hairs and I think they'll be easily disguised in natural hair with highlights
2) With my back getting worse, dying my hair takes it out on my and I end up in agony.
3) Stupid reason because we're not trying but in the back of my mind with my implant out now, I cant help thinking "what if your up the duff and chemically raping your head". I know, stupid. But a back thought none the less.

I decided to invest in some hair stripping products then colour it a nice brown over the top. Here's what I bought.
Jobaz Hair Colour Remover

Loreal Recital Preference in Palma

My current colour - un brushed!!

I decided to record my steps so I can fill you in on the actual details and how they vary from the instructions!!

 Firstly I assessed the bits and pieces. You get the developer, the activator and a 'buffer' for use when washing it out. The gloves, quite frankly, were shit so I used the cool black ones from the Loreal hair dye.

I always buy and use two packets because my hairs so thick.

I applied the solution which is so similar to man jizz its unreal. Your supposed to leave for 30 Min's, or 1 hour if your using the Max edition - which I was. It suggests wrapping in clingfilm to help with the heat and development. I added the hat because to be honest, I felt like a grade A twat sitting there with clingfilm on my head.

Oh and it smelt like Immac and Cif mixed together. I literally smelt like toilet cleaner. I'm not sure if I'm just overly sensitive to the smell because A) my senses are coming back from not smoking and more obviously, B) working for a cleaning chemical company, but it smelt like toilet cleaner and cat piss. Grim.

 2 HOURS LATER - Not a lot of progress. Ive got to the point now where I wish I hadn't bothered and couldnt give a toss about what it looked like, I wanted it off so I could shower, take my painkillers and bugger off to bed.

You have to rinse for 5mins solid and it even recommends setting alarm on your phone to check. I took my trusty clock in with me. So after you've rinsed for what seems like an eternity, you add the buffer and lather like shampoo. If you were thinking this may smell nice, you were wrong. Cif and cat piss again. So you leave that for 1minute then rinse for another 5 years minutes. Add the buffer for a second time and then rinse as normal. Apparently this part of the process is just as important as this is where is washes the crap away. Fine. I persevered. My hair felt so stiff and lank that I just had to wash and condition it with my own shampoo and even now I can still smell feline urine.

This is how it looked wet.

 Still stinks.

And here dry. I was completely surprised. I was expecting to be orange but it was that shockingly rubbish that after 2 boxes, 2 hours and alot of hoping later, it came out OK. Its not great to be fair. The ends are dark, I have random blonde patches and its got a ginger tinge to it but its not bad.

Not fair off the hair dye colour either! Which I haven't used yet.

So even though it was complete pants and didn't do what it was actually supposed to do, it saved my ass because I could not be bothered by 10pm! The thought of having to dry this then dye it again was soul destroying!

Plus, to be fair, it was quite dark, I had been red before that, bleached before that and red again before that so all things considered, it was OK. Not sure Id recommend it but don't want to poo poo it because of my crappy hair.

Meh! No idea how to call this one. I wouldn't use it again. But it is just my experience.

Apologies for the rubbish pics. The light in here is shocking and my camera is begging to be flushed down the toilet.

So pass your own judgement I suppose!

Watch out for an update about my sale blog. I'll be featuring some clothes and jewellery in the next few days.

Mucho Love.

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Wedding Bells

So Ive been a crap blogger AGAIN and not updated in a while so am going to have a quick recap all in one go!

First bit of news is that my beloved implant is gone :( The 3 years were almost up and I knew I would be getting it removed slightly early (its around my birthday so wanted it out before then) but then I started getting some dodgy symptoms. Everyone told me I was pregnant and they were pregnancy symptoms but I of course knew this was bollocks. It wasn't until my husband suggested it that it became a possibility! So we went on a late night excursion to Tesco and got a pregnancy test - of course it as negative so a big fat "I told you so!" to everyone! So anyway, I researched these symptoms and found that alot of girls reported these symptoms as a sign of the implant running out. So I scheduled myself in for a removal.

Compared to the insertion, which was still pain free and easy, this was a piece of cake. I didn't really feel the needle, I did feel the scalpel a bit but nothing else. The nurse was amazing and had a good chat with me about my options and she thought I was sensible by wanting no contraceptives (only condoms) for a while to give my body a break. Ive had the implant for 3 years, the injection for 1 & 1/2 and then the pill for several before that so I wanted a break. 

So anyway, my arm wasn't too sore and barely any bruise. Wanna see the skanky pics? If you know, I would scroll down a bit!!

And here's the tiny wound! Top left mark I believe to be the general, and the red mark below is the incision which I thought was going to be alot bigger!

So yeah! Next it was my friend Chloes wedding. I met her in college about 7-8 years ago. Her and her friend Paula skipped 6th form whereas me and my best mate at the time Kelly had completed it so they are 2 years younger.
Like me she had a small family wedding first then everyone in for the evening do. She looked so beautiful we both cried when we saw each other, me setting her off! 

Plus having full on wedding rage didnt help (Ive been there and done it already and it made me jealous LOL).

I had nothing to wear so I decided to hot foot it to a shopping centre by my work with a Yours shop. I tried on several items before I was about to give up. The lovely manageress who says hello and has a chat with me every time I go in came over and we had a chat as to what I needed. She immediately went over to a dress and said "this is a little stunner". I was close to giving up so decided to humour her and try it on - and my god was she right!! I would never have given it a second glance OR paid £35 FULL PRICE for a dress but I have just received a bonus and have another wedding in a few weeks I can wear it to. 

Here are the first outfits I tried. Please excuse the cottage cheese legs, the wet bedraggled hair and the odd socks.

Nice but not dressy enough - plus I don't have enough boobs!

OK for a prom or night out with the girls, not me at all

I adored this pattern and material but it made my bum look lumpy dumpy and it clung to every line and bump.

Then this dress came into my life.

So just before I show you what I was wearing with it, I planned to keep it low key with black cardy, black tights and my fave black peep top t-bars BUT as I was pulling my tights on, my disc in my back re-ruptured. Ive been in agony since! I also ripped my fave tights! I as already late so I finished my make up, added grey tights and mis matching red shoes (flat!). I didn't have time to straighten my hair either! Disaster! I made the wedding and the bride was chuffed that I had managed to waddle in. I was in that much pain by the end of it, i was sobbing whilst trying to walk to the car, but the important thing is that I got to share her day.



More disappointingly, I didn't get to see my nephew today. My back had eased by this morning but as I was trying to get my fabulous new Yours pants on, I pulled it again so have been resting in bed all afternoon. 

Look at the fabulous pants!

Dress - Yours £35
Pants - Yours 2 for £10
Tights - Evans
Shoes - Simplbe (both red and peeptoes)
Cardy - Hand my down

Sorry for the extra pics today! Had a fair bit of catching up to do!!

Mucho love

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Knowing Me Knowing You

Hi guys, my first question thingy! I stole this from Lolly at Lolly Likes as she left it open as a free for all!

Post these rules.
Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.
Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you’ve tagged them.

1. I love tattoos and would be covered if I could
2. I am more creative then I give myself credit for and am in the beginnings of making my own jewellery.
3. I have a back problem where my discs are all dry and old! I ruptured two just bending over in the garden!
4. I work in Finance
5. I have worn fake nails since Hubz proposed 2 and a half years ago. I bite my nails terribly and want my hands to look pretty with my gorgeous diamond rings on!!
6. I have a hideous phobia of feet. Cant stand them!
7. I have the Implanon implant in my arm and I love it, best thing I ever did, but I have to take it out (3 years is up) so its being removed next week :(
8. I am a huge (literally) Glee fan
9. I love The Sims and am a total loser gamer :)
10. I used to smoke and always said I'd only quit when I didn't like it anymore, Now Ive quit :)
11. I am a proud auntie to my little nephew Harrison and am pleased to announce Hubz other sister is also pregnant with a boy so I will be an aunt again in August :)

1. Have you ever been in love?
Yes. I am In love now :)
2. Where is your fave place in the world?
Las Vegas. No where else comes close
3. Do you play an instrument?
No but I used to play tenor horn and own a trumpet. I was in school orchestra, recorder class and in the hand chimes group.
4. What sport would you like to be really good at?
I love to play rugby if my back wouldn't literally disintegrate.
5. Fave piece of art and Artist? 
I'm not an art fan really, but find my art in music so my fave artists would be the band Funeral for a Friend. Ive been a fan for many years and even met the bassist (after he left and moved to America) in Vegas on Christmas Day, just before that i met his replacement at a DJ set :)

6. last live band/artist you saw?
Other then FfaF, Reel Big Fish.
7. What would you most like to have done in 5 years time?
I want to have lost enough weight for my back to ease up, have moved house, been to Vegas again and have a child. I would also love to have my own little business and Hubz earning more so I could stay home :)
8. Would you live in another country?
I am desperate to move to America. I also planned to (but never did) move to Ireland in my early 20's
9. ice cream or cake?
Ice cream! Preferably the Daas or Mr Ben and Mr Jerry.
10. fave cocktail?
I don't have a particular fave. Anything fruity and/or with Malibu.
11. What were you doing at 11am today?
I was at work making an overly complicated spreadsheet comparing the pricing of a newly acquired customer. (Yay. Fun).
So, my 11 questions to you!

1. When did you last laugh? 
2. What was the last thing you bought? 
3. Are you a good cook? 
4. If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be? 
5. Do you sing in the shower? 
6. What are your best physical features? 
7. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? 
8. What's the farthest-away place you've been? 
9. Do you believe in love at first sight? 
10. Think fast, what do you like right now? 
11. What Inspires You? 
I'm following suit and leaving this open to everyone! I'd love it if you told me you've done it so I can get to know everyone better :)
Mucho Love

Sunday, 8 April 2012


So in a post that will echo Tracey at A Blog Is For Life, I had a hen do last night for my friend Chloe. I am very excited for her as she gets married in two weeks and It wasn't that long ago that It was me waiting for the day to come (I will share the photos at some point, once all of my family have seen them).

So, we went for a drink in a little pub, just slightly off the town centre. I couldn't stay for the clubbing. A) because I had no money, and B) as I was getting my sole tenner out of the cash machine, I fell down a pot hole and twisted my ankle (In wedges). As a result, I'm sore today!

Here are a few pics of what I wore.

Cardy - Matalan (Vintage)
Necklace - Forever 21
Dress - George (Vintage (eBay))
Tights - Evans
Wedges - Yours
Eyelashes - vlure
Hair Bow - Poss Primark, I cant remember!
Belt - Came of a Forever 21 jumper I have
Nail Varnish - Part of the 'Glee' set I got for Xmas.

So this was the first time I had managed to put on my own false eyelashes (hence the pictures of my face). I followed a youtube video which helped immensely so If you want to dabble, then I suggest doing some research.

So I've been furiously eBay-ing to find more that I can experiment with. I'm also being a bit of an eBay whore, selling a few bits off to raise a bit of cash. The reason I'm selling is to have a mega clear out. If I've not worn it, or do not intend to wear it, then it goes. You can see my items here.

So, I have lots to discuss over the coming weeks so will keep this one short for today.

Dont forget to catch me on Twitter :)

Mucho Love.