I'm a note taker. Whether its training someone or learning something, something I want to remember like a date, a number, a name, time, a shopping list - I'll write it down. One of the best things I do is make a list of all the things I want to do and never do them. I think my main problem is that only I can see the list so it doesn't matter if I don't do them because its only me that can see that I haven't done them - if your still with me!
So, here's my list of things I want to start doing as of Monday and things I want to do in the next month. If I post them, I will be expected to do them and report on them. I did this with smoking. I told everyone I was going to quit and because everyone knew, I couldn't get away with the excuses.
I need to make some changes (which I will explain after the list).
Yoga - I love the thought and idea of it and even downloaded a starters app on my iPad. I was recommended it as a way to help me with my back by my specialist so should take him up on his word. Starting Monday, I will find time for yoga.
Healthy Eating - To be fair, the common misconception for a fat girl is that we eat ALOT. Well, not all of us do. My size 10 sister will eat her dinner, extras and finish off mine where as I will leave it because I don't feel like eating until I'm sick. YET, I will polish off an entire pot of Pralines and Cream Haagen Dazs just because. Its not how much I eat, it what I eat. Following incredible pressure from the mother in law about healthy eating being rubbish and nothings as good as the Atkins diet (sorry, my opinion but BULLSHIT) I've decided to go my own way and start eating healthier. Portion control, more fruits and veg, less carbs and more variety. Not everything has to be deep fried (husband - not me!).
Walking - We have two dogs that get walked as and when really. If the weathers shit then Clive wont go past the front door and if my backs bad I'm house bound (we live on top of a hill which is murder on my back). As of Monday I want to start being more consistent and getting them out everyday. Whether they like it or not!
Swimming - I used to love swimming but since a near death experience when I was younger Ive chickened out. Last time I went swimming with my husband it took me 20mins to get up the courage to get in. Even then i panicked and ended up sitting in the kids pool for half an hour before deciding to call it a day. I love the water and want to shake off this fear. Also, its great for weight loss and its the best kind of exercise considering my back. My aim is to go once this week, post pictures and a blog about it and enjoy it. Then building this up to 3 times a week.
Weight - I don't know what my weight is. I know what it was before I got married and quit smoking but god only knows what it is now. This week I will weigh myself. Also, throughout this process I will document my losses. I wont ever tell the world what it is, until I'm happy too. This is the one thing I'm not forcing myself to do. I'm accepting alot of things recently and this Ive accepted is not good but need to keep it for myself.
I just want to re-iterate something before some of y'all blast me for not accepting myself and not being comfortable with who I am. I'm getting there. However, it doesn't matter how accepting I am, how happy I am, my health is suffering. My back is straining and the weight? not helping. The only thing to help with my deteriorating back condition is to take some weight off it. I'm not looking to be a size 10. But a nice 16-20 would be nice. I used to be a curvy 16 and I did not appreciate it. Starving myself and too much exercise. Body wise (excluding my back) I'm healthier now then I was when I was smaller. I remember once sitting in my boyfriends (at the time) dingy attic bedroom thinking "hmmmm, I haven't eaten in 3 days" then walked 2 miles home for a cucumber sandwich. I was sick and not healthy!! I'm getting there with the fat acceptance and will ALWAYS be a big girl, but my specialist and osteopath have recommended weight loss and I need to take their advice. I'm hoping you guys will support me and accept my reasons for this. Its for ME not anyone else. My husband doesn't care how I look just how I feel because he met me at my smallest and married me at my biggest. I'm incredibly lucky to have his support.
With all this talk about starting a family too, I Just want to make sure that if and when it happens I'm in the best health for me and that my back will cope with it.
|Me as a 14-16|