So this is one of those posts where I blab on for a while and there are no pictures, Just FYI!
Just recently I have become very disenchanted with everything. I don't feel connected to the house I live in, I had a bit of a weird thing with Hubs mum, so feel a bit weird with that side of the family, I feel disconnected from my friends, I really am truly miserable in my job so I guess a combo of these things is making me completely and utterly crap.
I'm starting to fall out of love with blogging a bit too. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, the OOTD and random updates of what I'm wearing etc but I feel very alone. Most of the bloggers I read myself all have others/groups they share their thoughts with etc, they comment and re-tweet post links etc. I have nothing or no one. I feel there is a big sense of community - if you can get accepted into it. I didn't start this blog to start a popularity contest, to get the most followers etc but since doing this I have seen how the groups are. How they are invited to group events etc, discussions and I feel I'm missing out. Which as a result has me questioning myself and my personality, the quality of my blog and the way I write it....
Then I begin with the self loathing and begin nit picking myself. Am I stupid? am I ugly? should I be embarrassed at my clothes instead of showing them off? Am I just craving attention that I no longer get from my friends and family anymore? - this then links into my lack of confidence I get struck with at work.
Its a viscous destructive circle that once I'm in, I tend to either completely spiral or manage to pull myself from.
I'm sure I'm just being extra touchy because of work and feeling low, but I cant help wondering if this scene is for me and whether If I chose to stick around, can I hold out.
Stay tuned I guess.
Laura
I am sorry you are going through a rough patch at the moment but remember its just that! a rough "patch" and it wont last forever. I am new to the blogging thing and have made the effort to talk to people online and get involved with events. I think its like anything really. It takes time. Get yourself all dressed up and take some pictures! Even if you dont go anywhere it always makes me feel better to pamper myself. Hope you feel better soon xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you :) I do try and get involved to an extent but I can be full on and am working on it so I dont want to come across as too overbearing. But thats just me trying to work on my own barriers.
ReplyDeleteAnd for being new to it, your doing great, I love reading your blog!
Thanks for the words of kindness. I really appreciate it xx