I promise this post isn't as dramatic as the title. The song was stuck in my head and its kinda appropriate.
I knew today that I was going to have - and was going to discuss - a smear test.
I was sent a letter last year (at 25years old) that I was now due for a smear. I even remember bitching on my Facebook about the moment I turned 25, a letter fell on my door mat about a "fanny screening", accepting ME into the start of my late 20's. To be honest, I wasn't thrilled at the prospect but intended to book an appointment.
However, it was not to be, between work, family and friends it completely slipped my mind until now. With everyone in my family falling pregnant (2 sisters in law and a step sister), the conversation of starting a family is constantly getting thrown at me - When am I going to start trying? When is my (wonderfully amazing convenient) implant going to come out? What names do I like? How will I cope with a child and our rescue dog? - I to decided that I should be thinking about it. Mainly my health, weight and readiness to start a family.
The first two hurdles are far from being crossed - losing some weight and getting my implant out, but one of the things I wanted to do was to make sure everything was 'OK' down 'there'! I scheduled myself in for a smear test.
I was late. I had to ring in to let them know and when I got there the nurse was patiently waiting to go home (that'll teach them for scheduling me in at 5.30pm). I got there at 5.35pm (not bad!) and had left by 5.50pm. The nurse explained everything to me. She asked me if I knew what this entailed, and my exact quote was "oh on the short, I take my pants off, lie legs a kimbo and you give me a scraping". She laughed and confirmed that she would indeed have me lie on the bed and insert a speculum and take a sample.
The most part of our time was used by discussing my implant and that she was trained to insert but not remove. I advised her that her colleague and my Doctor told her she could remove it so I set them up on a 'Savaging My Arm' date in May. The actual procedure took about a minute. It was in, she took the swap/brush thing and was out and done. Completely painless. Not totally embarrassment free but I don't even undress in front of my husband so this is out of my comfort zone - but saying that, I didn't feel uncomfortable. I didn't get nervous (which they try and tell you not to do because its harder to do if your tense).
I urge everyone who has not yet had one, to do so. Anyone who is due for another one (3 years since the last one), again, I urge you to get booked in. Its such a easy procedure and for 10mins of slight embarrassment compared to years of panic and treatments it is totally worth doing. Having watched loved ones go through various types of cancers, I ashamed that it took me this long to get one done. I lost my uncle recently to lung cancer so that was a good enough reason to help me quit smoking (2 months clean!).
Here is the NHS website that explains the procedure in more detail.
I also found this t-shirt - just goes to show how normal this procedure is, they made it into a tshirt! So go and get your lady parts looked at!
I apologise if this post offends anyone, if I'm preaching to the choir or people just don't like talking about there lady gardens, I just want to share my experience in the hope that someone somewhere may use this and book an appointment.
Mucho Love
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